Networking for introverts

When was the last time you attended a networking event? I don’t mean a Zoom call with 50 other people, but one where you got to see the smiles of others in person? It has been something on my mind lately. In a previous chapter of my career in the property sector, it was something I made time for, attending as many events that I could to make a few genuine connections. You see “working a room” does not come naturally to me and I would much prefer to have a deeper conversation with the person behind the name badge. Growing up I was more of an introvert and a shy kid. I knew that I had to overcome this in order to build my “professional profile” – such a naff term, but I said it anyway.

Over the past 5 years I feel my networking muscles have become weaker. Initially I put this down to working in internal business-focussed roles but, let’s call a spade a spade, I was in a new industry, surrounded by new people, feeling like an imposter, and so I went easy on myself, justifying all the reasons why I shouldn’t keep up the networking – too busy, bad timing, Covid. All excuses.

After pondering this for a while and reflecting on what was holding me back I asked myself,

“What advice would I give my best friend?”

Here’s what I came up with:

Take baby steps by signing up for one event. This will build momentum. Set a goal to attend at least one event per month. Be open to formal networking events or training sessions that involve people outside of your current circle. Even joining a new activity or group that isn’t directly work-related will expand your network.

Tell colleagues and friends­ that you want to grow your network. Remind yourself of all the people you know. They all like you and want to see you succeed. Having a conversation about what you are looking for and putting out those good vibes into the universe will return dividends.

Get face time by finding ways to connect in person. Communication is said to be made up of Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule, that 7% of your meaning is communicated through spoken word, 38% from the tone of your voice, and 55% through body language. As much as I am pro-technology, we’ve all had that awkward experience when discussing something sensitive in a virtual meeting and the other person freezes. When that happens it’s so hard to know if the message was delivered as intended. Meeting someone face to face builds more trust. It enables you to instantly respond to the signals they are putting out, allowing you to adjust and develop the conversation.

Ditch the old lines of introducing yourself and then asking the other person, “What do you do? Where do you work?” Ho Hum. Supercharge that language and ask, “What was the highlight of your day today? What are you hoping to learn from the seminar today? Where did you get that awesome dress/tie?” Ask open ended questions to draw out a conversation. Even better, if you have the attendee list prior, do a little research or connect on LinkedIn so you can be prepared for potential topics of conversation and it will feel more like a warm introduction.

Do the same things, but differently, through thinking about all the activities you already do that are habitual or part of your daily routine, such as going to a regular coffee shop or gym. Trying out new venues while still doing the things you enjoy means that you open yourself to the possibility of networking with new people and expanding your references.

Always follow up. After you meet someone new, and if you enjoyed the conversation, always send a follow up message to say thank you. It could be as easy as a LinkedIn message or email thanking them for their time and recalling a small detail they shared with you, such as an upcoming work challenge or holiday. If I meet someone that I get along well with I always ask for a follow up coffee. It’s an easy, non-threatening way to build up those connections you’ve been looking for.

Everyone likes to be seen and, from the receptionist to the CEO, we are all just humans trying to figure out this life together. Connection is the end goal and networking is just one way to get there. I started this post focussed on the professional side but as it developed much of this could be applied to personal relationships, making new friends and dating.

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear about what strategies or tips you’ve used to broaden your network. By reading this you now have an open invitation that I would love to have coffee with you to talk work and life. Get in touch at think.ascend@outlook.com